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MAG's avatar

Great essay. Ive never been a good sleeper even as a teenager. I’m up at 4:00 am, alert, and ready for a couple hours of Substack. Then another hour of sleep. I’ve always taken short dog naps. I’m pretty sure I was a dog in another life because even the most aggressive dogs seem to like me.

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EKB's avatar

Well animals can sense if a human means them well.

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Marcy Rosenberg's avatar

Ok. Don’t laugh. I found a show on YouTube called Get Sleepy. I hit play, put on an eye mask (it’s just a listening show no need to watch) and I’m asleep soo fast. Even if I wake up at a dreaded hour I’m relaxed enough to go back to sleep. I’m up at 6:30 bc I teach 2 year olds ( yes, I know). Try it! It can’t hurt!

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EKB's avatar

Laugh? No way. Im booking marking this on my laptop!

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Gladys's avatar

This is what I have learned about my sleep when I turned 70.

If I have 5 to 6 hours of good sleep it is a victory.

When the bladder senses we are awake, we go. Kegels work if we are consistent. My experience. When I slack off, my bladder is in charge.

When my AFIB wakes me up, it is hard to get back to sleep.

If I am up at 3am, I learned to wait before reading on my phone, and with patience, I will fall back asleep. If not, I will read on my phone.

I have a fan running all night, feeling cool is a game-changer.

Logging more than 10,000 steps, 12,000 + daily delivers a better sleep experience.

Eating earlier, 6:30, helps and I will walk after dinner cleanup for 30 minutes, depending on weather and energy.

Watch silly and harmless Netflix. Cut down on nighttime news.

Control what you can control.

There is no one-size-fits-all solution. Lately, my apple watch confirms my sleep goals are accomplished. 10:30 in bed with an awake time at 5:30. In between there are awake moments. All in all, I call this a good nights sleep.

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Gladys's avatar

Regarding your apple watch go to an apple store. Someone will set up your watch.

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Gladys's avatar

The Residence is a good one on Netflix. It is about a murder in the white house. A clever who done it?

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EKB's avatar

You’re right. That was a good one. I forgot about that one.

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Gladys's avatar

We do our best and eventually, our sleep resets to a new pattern. You will get there. To our sleep, Gladys

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EKB's avatar

Thanks for all these recommendations. I honestly do most of them already.

My problem is I can never find anything silly to watch on Netflix (well most of Netflix is really getting on my nerves now truthfully). My go to is generally murder mysteries, but nothing dark or too serious. I guess light hearted murder mysteries? Not real crime. I don't get that at all.

The fan runs, the house has air con, I exercise every day.

I haven't set my apple watch yet though. Still trying to figure that one out. LOL

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April's avatar

I so agree with this! I used to be able to go without sleep, and when I was in my twenties and thirties I had a job where I always had to be up and out the door before 7, often earlier, and often work or drive home around 9 or 10 pm. I can't do that anymore. I get up at 5 am for work which is fine because I am a morning person, and if I'm not working I sometimes sleep until 5:30 but rarely past 6. I need to watch the sunrise and in the spring and summer Loviefluffy cat wants to listen to the birds sing with me. It's important to her that I get up to hear them too. So we watch the sunrise together. I go to bed at or before nine or I turn into someone I do not want to be. I wake up in the night and sometimes lie away stressed, counting the numbers in my budget and figuring on when the next paycheck is coming in, etc. I do sometimes wake up refreshed and ready to meet the day. I remember a time when I did. Maybe it will come back. I totally agree about working without breaks. I have to teach for 5 solid hours without any break at all every weekday (except today we are off for Election Day) from 8 am to 1:10 pm. Not even bathroom breaks, technically, but that's impossible so climate staff (that's like security but not quite) covers for us for quick bathroom runs that literally last less than two minutes. No eating, just drinking water but as little as possible since I can't just walk out and go to the bathroom. You can't leave school kids in a room by themselves, so if you can't get coverage, you have to hold it. It's one of the worst things about teaching, but the climate staff at my current job are amazing and always help out. When I'm not working I love to drink as much liquid as I really want - it's a luxury. I hate asking my primary care doctor for help with anything. I probably should find a woman but I've been with the guy who is my PCP for eight years and I'm used to him. He used to be really helpful but he just doesn't get menopause AT ALL. It's so frustrating. I always leave feeling like a big failure. I used to be in such amazing health and shape, but between menopause and chronic illness that really hit me for two years (but is mostly better now) I lost a lot of muscle. And a lot of patience. Anyway, love you and your blog!

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EKB's avatar

Thank you April. I give you kudos. It is so not easy being a teacher.

I have a male PCP. I never asked him about menopause. I asked my OBGYN. But honestly, I researched alot on line myself. Nobody talks about it. Its like its a sin or something when its a natural everyday occurrence for women.

You also aren't a failure. Western medicine does stink when it comes to women.

Truth is we do lose muscle and gain weight at menopause. No matter how hard we try our bodies are going to change and we are no longer going to have that youthful female form. But we can still be the best that we can be. Eat as close to the mediterranean diet as possible and if nothing else, walk for cardio. Walk in place as you watch tv if nothing else. There are home things you can do too. You tube has a ton of free exercise videos weights, pilates and yoga too. We found a bunch for my son when he was laid up and couldnt do cardio Chair yoga, wall or chair pilates and they even have ones showing how you can use every day common household items instead of free weights if you dont have any.

I love to watch the sunrise too. It fills me with tremendous joy!

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April's avatar

I walk about 10 k steps a day, do yoga and Pilates and eat Mediterranean though the occasional kid snack does get me. I’m getting my thyroid checked.

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EKB's avatar

Good. Thyroid is the bane of moneopause.

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