3am, that’s my go to time. That is when my body decides it is morning and my brain wakes me up. Of course, I always hold my breath as I turn over and a look at the clock on my phone hoping that its really 6am and I have slept through the night. But I know deep down, that its going to be 3am. Don’t know what is so special about 3. I never wake at 4, or 2. Yes I go to bed between 9:30 and 11. Well my head doesn’t exactly hit the pillow at that time. I generally read a little and watch some videos.
Please don’t tell me not to watch on my phone. To me it’s no different than the people that used to fall asleep in front of the TV. At least this way I turn off my phone and roll over. Sometimes I do take my laptop with me and stream a show. I then invariably fall asleep in front of the laptop.
Meanwhile, there I am at 3am, and of course I run to the bathroom. I may feel like I am 25 but my bladder knows I am in my mid 60s. Listen, I have done it all. I have restricted liquids before bed, I had eaten earlier (well not Florida early bird special early but not at 9pm), and taken trips to the loo right before I fall asleep. But to no avail, that bladder decides it is time for its midnight run.
The best thing though about 3 am, is that everyone I know who is married to a women of a certain age, that is their go to time as well. There must be something in the water that women tend to all wake up at this time at this age. Truly, there is something interesting about mother nature. We all generally go through menopause at the same time (of course with some exceptions) and that leads to certain realities of life, and sleep for all of us.
(On another note-I wonder if that is why the early morning hours are called the witching hour, since elderly women were always invariably seen as the town witches. And waking at such ungodly early hours is not something new for women in history. Yes, quite interesting, this story of witches and witch hunting from the Old World to the New. Independent older women who took control of their own lives were seen as threat - talk about patriarchy and misogyny.)
Yes, yes I know, sleep hygiene and all. My primary doctor has been harping on about that for years. Even wanted me to go for a sleep study. Which I did not do. I know why I can’t sleep. It’s called age, and worries, and a 65 year old bladder (no amount of kegels is going to resolve that.)
Truth be told, I even tried OTC sleep meds, and guess what I still wake up at 3am. I have tried melatonin and the same thing happens. Yes, I can roll over and get back to sleep, after I go run and pee, but I feel quite out of it the next day. (I have stopped taking that meds though. It leaves me groggy, irritable and generally very out of sorts. I asked my primary why it hurt behind my eyes, he said it was the sleep meds. Of course, I thought I had some form of cancer. You know once you ave cancer, every time something is not right you worry that its your cancer come back.)
What has been happening lately though is that after a few hours of being awake, I am able to go back to sleep for a few more hours. So generally by 5am, I am back in lala land and dreaming of peace, harmony and the ability to eat as much chocolate as I want without gaining weight. So I generally then wake again between 7:30 and 8 am and get ready for my day.
I do feel sort of refreshed and ready to function, well as best as I can at least. Honestly, I don’t think I ever feel raring to go, where you wake up and jump out of bed ready to greet the day. I can’t even remember the last time that happened. (Not sure if this is a function of age, decades of stress, or simply not wanting to do what needs to be done- like fold laundry.)
This put me in mind of something I read years ago about how people used to sleep in the middle ages. They actually would wake purposefully in the middle of the night and do some chores or pray and then go back to sleep. Sleep was actually called 1st and 2nd sleep. (actually the novelist Richard Harris wrote a murder mystery called Second Sleep, which is where I heard of the phenomena in the first place.)
Seems that the requirement to sleep 8 hours straight is something that came about with the industrial age. You know when the world stopped being agrarian and turned mechanical. Where people had to clock in at 7 am and work 12 hour shifts in a factory, they couldn’t wake in the middle of the night if they were going to be able to function on the floor the next day. So society not only changed its economic base, but it changed how humans were supposed to function as well. I’m not sure if that isn’t why we are generally so unhealthy (besides a myriad of other factors like processed foods and a sedentary life styles).
People do need to stop and rest. They can’t work through without breaks. There are real reasons for siestas and naps. Humans are after all animals. When have you ever seen an animal not take breaks in the middle of the day to simple be still?
We are an unusual species, we homo sapiens. We work really hard to control the environment around us. Shaping everything to fit into a pattern that we have created for ourselves, rather than listening to our inner nature. It seems to me that as we age, our bodies are pulling us back to the nature that we left. If we won’t listen to the world around us, then our genetic memories are going to make us pay attention. Eventually, we need to hear what nature is trying to tell us.
Meanwhile, this morning I didn’t get a chance to fall back for my 2nd sleep. The dog wanted out and the hubby has a bad knee so I was going to take her out, but she wouldn’t go if he didn’t take her. Yeah, she has really imprinted on him something fierce. (He went away for 3 days on a business trip and she barely ate anything during the time he was away.) So he took her out, but since I was out of bed, I just didn’t even try to go back to sleep.
I decided to exercise early and write this little essay. I figured I might as well be productive, because I know as well as everyone else does, that once work is over and I stop and sit on a couch or hang out in bed to watch a video, I am going to simply fall asleep. The body needs what it needs. It needs to make up for sleep loss. Which is something the sleep professionals tell you not to do.
If you don’t get a good nights sleep, make sure NOT to nap, they say. It will just continue the cycle of poor sleep. Because making up for lost sleep in the middle of the day will wreck the night time in dream land. I’m sure they are correct. Your circadian rhythm will be interrupted and become confused. I don’t know about these rhythms. I haven’t felt them for decades. Definitely since my early 40s.
Funniest thing is that every time I hear circadian rhythm, I think of cicadas, which is probably where that idea comes from. And speaking of cicadas apparently there are 2 broods are out again after 17 years underground and they are wreaking havoc. Much like me if I don’t get enough sleep.
IT IS DAY 592 OF THE HOSTAGES BEING STARVED AND HELD IN THE TERROR DUNGEONS OF GAZA 🎗️
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I so agree with this! I used to be able to go without sleep, and when I was in my twenties and thirties I had a job where I always had to be up and out the door before 7, often earlier, and often work or drive home around 9 or 10 pm. I can't do that anymore. I get up at 5 am for work which is fine because I am a morning person, and if I'm not working I sometimes sleep until 5:30 but rarely past 6. I need to watch the sunrise and in the spring and summer Loviefluffy cat wants to listen to the birds sing with me. It's important to her that I get up to hear them too. So we watch the sunrise together. I go to bed at or before nine or I turn into someone I do not want to be. I wake up in the night and sometimes lie away stressed, counting the numbers in my budget and figuring on when the next paycheck is coming in, etc. I do sometimes wake up refreshed and ready to meet the day. I remember a time when I did. Maybe it will come back. I totally agree about working without breaks. I have to teach for 5 solid hours without any break at all every weekday (except today we are off for Election Day) from 8 am to 1:10 pm. Not even bathroom breaks, technically, but that's impossible so climate staff (that's like security but not quite) covers for us for quick bathroom runs that literally last less than two minutes. No eating, just drinking water but as little as possible since I can't just walk out and go to the bathroom. You can't leave school kids in a room by themselves, so if you can't get coverage, you have to hold it. It's one of the worst things about teaching, but the climate staff at my current job are amazing and always help out. When I'm not working I love to drink as much liquid as I really want - it's a luxury. I hate asking my primary care doctor for help with anything. I probably should find a woman but I've been with the guy who is my PCP for eight years and I'm used to him. He used to be really helpful but he just doesn't get menopause AT ALL. It's so frustrating. I always leave feeling like a big failure. I used to be in such amazing health and shape, but between menopause and chronic illness that really hit me for two years (but is mostly better now) I lost a lot of muscle. And a lot of patience. Anyway, love you and your blog!
Ok. Don’t laugh. I found a show on YouTube called Get Sleepy. I hit play, put on an eye mask (it’s just a listening show no need to watch) and I’m asleep soo fast. Even if I wake up at a dreaded hour I’m relaxed enough to go back to sleep. I’m up at 6:30 bc I teach 2 year olds ( yes, I know). Try it! It can’t hurt!