Yep, its my birthday. Well its my birthday weekend. I used to do birthday month, which meant that anything I bought for myself during the month of September would be attributed to my birthday. And no, I didn’t really budget for the month. But then again, I tried to only buy things I felt I really needed. Like that new handbag, shoes, or jeans. Sometimes a new coat. But truly, how much stuff do you need?
Well, I did buy an Apple watch finally after years of contemplation but that was during the interlude between Mother’s Day and my wedding Anniversary. That was my mother’s day/wedding anniversary present.
I do think that eventually you run out of things to buy. Well I do anyway. Though some folks like millionaires and billionaires never seem to run out of homes, cars, or yachts to purchase. Not that I am jealous mind you. I’m really not. I just marvel though at the extensive accoutrements. But truly, how much stuff do people need?
I also look at those very fancy walk-in closets and I marvel at all the items people have, and try to think of exactly where they wear everything. I think that is the question for me.
What got me thinking about this, was flipping through a fashion magazine while getting a mani/pedi ( a birthday present to myself) and I loved the jewels (absolutely colorful for this season-Bulgari was amazing), clothes (Carolina Herrera outdid itself again) and bags (oh just variety of beautiful and the very practical). I just couldn’t wrap my head around when I would put these items on.
Perhaps, it is because I do not live a life where these things are needed. I don’t go into an office. I work from home and hang out in my PJs all day. Yes, I admit it. I see no reason to get all dressed up and uncomfortable while working at home, in my kitchen. (That is where my desk happens to be) The amount of times I need to be on a zoom call, all the other people in my office are basically dressed like me, too. (Except most of them seem to be wearing a bra, which I am not-but I digress).
Then there are the jewels. The radiance of these pieces was remarkable. Now I am not attracted to diamonds. They are pretty and having a diamond engagement ring is nice if that is what you want. But colored gems are my thing. The Bulgari necklaces showing for the season are all colored stones. To me they bring out joy. They are so extraordinary that as I perused the pages my thought was that you would wear these magnificent jewels to a State Dinner at the White House, not going shopping at the local Piggly Wiggly. So since I have not gotten any invitation from the Biden Administration to come to dinner, I don't have to worry about what gems with which to adorn myself. (I also understand that sometimes these jewelry houses lend out their pieces to celebrities like for the Oscars or The Met Gala red carpet. I’m figuring if I ever have to try to resolve the gem issue of a State Dinner invitation I can try to go that borrow route, too.)
Of course, handbags are something entirely different though. I do love handbags, as I explained earlier. I just remember that while in the past they were expensive, but not totally out of reach, today the really good ones cost more than some mortgage payments. I remember a time when luxury good sellers actually decried that the average person could now purchase a Louis Vuitton or a Gucci. They felt it downgraded the exclusivity of these items. Well I am happy to tell these snobs, that they don’t have to worry about this anymore. I don’t know anyone who carries these bags today, and when I moved to my neighborhood almost 3 decades ago, everyone had some kind of luxury handbag. But no more.
I have to tell you, in looking at all the beautiful clothes, jewels and shoes, I started to think about priorities and what makes us happy overall. Now, I also don’t know if there is a realignment of priorities because people are taking stock of their lives or the realization that so much luxury is simply out of reach for the average person. But in truth, I wonder if these luxury items were always out of reach, it just seemed as if there was something in the atmosphere that made them attainable if you simply put in the effort and time.
Generations past called it “The American Dream.” Now of course the dream wasn’t a $500,000,000 yacht, or a $50,000,000 house or a $1,000,000 car. The American dream was actually quite simple. A decent house, decent schools for the children, a car or 2, access to healthcare, and the knowledge that your children will be better off financially than you were. (It’s a Wonderful Life, meant something) The question becomes when did that all die? (and yes, people keep coming here in the hopes of the American dream, but for the average American it seems they dream no more.)
I think it started when people decided they were entitled to more than simply “decent.” Extravagant and over-the-top became the mantra.
Was it with the invention of social media with everyone posting all their amazing vacations, purchases, and parties? How about scripted reality shows like the housewives series showing how the wealthy live throughout the country? Was it the emphasis on items as the epitome of success or the idea that there is less and less equal distribution of wealth within our world so you naturally want what you know is unavailable to you?
I do think there is alot of jealousy when it comes to wanting what someone else has. That is human nature and also why it is part of the Ten Commandments not to covet.
The problem though that we face at present is that there are so many who do not have the means to even provide the bear minimum needed to survive in society and they seem totally forgotten. The American Dream where if you work you will be rewarded, for so many seems gone. And the overall question is simply why? Why are people so defeated? What is it about our modern society, post pandemic but it began decades before, where people feel abandoned?
I truly am wondering what the future holds. In our democratic republic we elect persons to represent us and our needs, desires and wants. But it appears that no one actually represents the average person. Oh they scare you with either “he’s Hitler,” or “she’s a commie,” but the truth is, who in all their years in power has done anything for anyone but themselves.
I think for the average person in our country, it used to not resonate so much with how the pundits in Washington carried on. It was simply expected that they are selfish, narcissistic, asshats. (Mr Smith Goes to Washington was a cynical look at what was happening in DC back in the 1930s, that was almost 100 years ago) But as long as you thought that with your own muscle you could provide a truly nice and prosperous life for your family you left Washington contretemps all alone. But now, so many do not think that that is possible, and instead of being told we will help you, the average person is derided for how they think, or hectored by the elite that they are simply stupid.
However, the way we take back out right to a future, is to actually take back control of our lives. We figure out what needs fixing and then if possible try to fix it. Unfortunately, I am not sure that for many there is the realistic notion of being able to do just that. Some people really do need help. Others simply have given up. Instead of pontificating to these people we need to help them. I am just not sure how. Honestly, there is so much in my own life that needs fixing, that I simply don’t seem able to fix, not sure I can come up with solutions for others.
Meanwhile, you can tell a trajectory of a nation by its birth rate. The US birth rate is in decline. It means the young, those who are supposed to be creating a future, feel there is no future. (Interestingly, one of the few countries with a net positive birth rate is Israel. Apparently, the more Israel is attacked, the more babies her people create. Go figure. These weird ass hopeful people are at war on 7 fronts with an enemy that wants to commit genocide, and they still have more and more babies.)
Mark Twain once said that “History Doesn't Repeat Itself, but It Often Rhymes.” I think we are rhyming, whether it is with a covetous nature toward luxury goods, or ignoring the needs of our fellow human beings, or allowing the inadequate to have sway over our lives.
So as I am completing another revolution around the sun, I have begun to contemplate the year to come. I am sorry, but I don’t feel hopeful. I have gone from being tired, to fury, to simple acceptance of our reality. I have come through the different stages of grief in recognizing that the future is not what I thought it would be. I have also come to the conclusion that in this next turn around the sun, I also don’t have to let the powers that be dictate my future. I can and I must change my own course, even if the world around me continues to flounder.
Note: I have not activated paid subscriptions. I do see other authors use a tip jar or ask to buy them a coffee. I am not going to do that. If you feel that I have reached you in some way, please give to your local food bank.
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Mazal Tov! Wishing much health and simcha, osher v’osher. (Osher with an א, which means happiness, osher with an ע means wealth. So you should have both.
Happy Birthday, wishing you all the best!
If you haven't read it yet, check out Batya Ungar-Sargon's "Second Class - How the Elites Betrayed America's Working Men and Women". It's about the working class and the American Dream.