Teeth

It never ends...

My grandmother, who should rest in peace, always said that you are busy with your teeth your entire life. It starts with teething and goes downhill from there.

I am actually one of the lucky ones who never needed braces. My sons, on the other hand, both needed them and to this day are supposed to wear their retainers (I don’t think they can actually find them).

On the other hand, I did need my wisdom teeth removed. In fact, they were so impacted that once they were removed, the swelling in my face actually went down immediately instead of up. It had never dawned on me that my sore throats and headaches were caused by my teeth. Except anecdotal evidence shows that these extra unnecessary teeth were quite the culprit.

Of course, I also had my share of cavities, root canals and crowns that pop off in the middle of eating a sandwich. In fact, I had one very stubborn crown which refused to stay attached to my very ground down tooth, and the dentist had to find super duper glue to make it stick.

What I found, and I am sure many other women who have had children will tell you, that after childbirth, something happens to your teeth. They become a little more fragile. And no, I didn’t really take my prenatal vitamins because I threw up through both of my pregnancies and vitamins only made me more nauseous. (Today I take gummies, because vitamin pills still make me sick to my stomach.)

Did my lack of vitamin taking add to my teeth discomfort? I will never know.

But an interesting thing did happen along the way, inventors created the electric toothbrush and voila, my cavities declined and my teeth seem to be healthier. I guess making it easier to get rid of tartar and plaque does have its benefits.

Of course, what could also add to healthier teeth, is that I am more conscious of my diet overall, as it does lead to a healthier body in general (or so they tell me). Ok yes, I go for an annual check up every year, get my mammogram and pap smear and everything seems to be just fine. For now… ( I know, that’s a very pessimistic way of looking at things. But really you have no guarantees, and tomorrow who the hell knows what’s going to happen. One day I went in for my mammogram 8 years ago and 1 month later they told me I had breast cancer. Didn’t expect that. And yes the cancer is all gone.And YES, the mammogram did save my life, so DON’T put yours off.)

But one of the more interesting notions I have come across when it comes to teeth, is this obsession with having bright white colored teeth. Now I love a set of pearly whites. I really do. But society has gone overboard. (I also did the bright white sit under the lamp trick in the dentist’s office. I don’t think it did anything, honestly. They say it did, but I didn’t see it. I also resolved that issue over time, see below.)

In fact, when I look at pictures the first thing I notice is the teeth. Yes really. Maybe it’s an old-wives tale, but teeth are an indication of health. That is why you “don’t look a gift horse in the mouth.” (I would think you would look at the gift horse’s mouth, who really wants to have to pay for the upkeep of an old sick horse, unless of course you ran a horse rescue, or this animal had been your pet since it was a foal. Please don’t spam me about taking in older pets. I have already done that and have loved every last one of them with all my heart. )

Now, I have had some cosmetic things done to my teeth. I had these little stubby holes in my two front teeth. (I think a study found that those came from taking a particular antibiotic when I was a child, but don’t quote me). I had had them covered with a laminate for years, but eventually the coverings wore down.

So the next thing I was offered was a full cap, or a total crown, on my front teeth. It did not go well. The dentist had to order the crowns 2 times and they still never felt like my real teeth. I have gotten used to them, but they still feel too big for my mouth. Yet, they are aesthetically nice. They look pretty. (They still feel weird, but I can’t be bothered to run around getting more opinions. I had actually done that while this saga was unfolding, and just don’t have any more time to give to this kerfuffle. )

Meanwhile, we get cleanings regularly and try to maintain healthy oral care.

But that doesn’t always stop teeth from falling out either. Sometimes teeth simply need to come out through no fault of your own. And yes, they have implants now, but dental plans and health plans will not pay for them because they are considered cosmetic. (I can’t tell you how painful the procedure is too. So just be prepared if you chose it. I have known several people who have had this procedure and they suffer for months before everything is right.)

So, unless you have an extra $10,000-$40,000 lying around, you do have to rely on good old fashioned dentures. And apparently that is what most people have to do judging by the rows and rows of Polident on the drugstore shelves.

So in life you go from teething, the tooth fairy, braces, cavities, getting your wisdom teeth removed, to root canals, to caps and then to dentures.

Being busy with your teeth never ends, as my grandmother used to say.