Signal

Oops I butt added a gossip to a national security chat

Since my substack is basically the stream of consciousness that flows through the lobes of my brain, I just couldn’t resist. If you hadn’t heard by now, the brain trust that has the nation’s national security in the palm of their hands were discussing highly classified issues over the app Signal. And then someone inadvertently added one of the most well known journalists in the country who is managing editor of a virulently antiTrump magazine. (Jeffrey Goldberg) If this was a Saturday Night Live sketch you would say that the writers had finally and completely lost their marbles. And that would be saying something after watching all the crap that has come out of SNL over the years.

Now this editor has written about his foray into the nether world of surreptitious-007-machiavellian contretemps, leaving out the juicy bits. No, he is not naming names of targets, not releasing secret Agent Smart details of attack plans, and is not writing anything that could endanger national security. But in truth, this entire fiasco is a danger to national security and maybe these mavens who run our national security need to start using WhatsApp instead.

(Everyone I know who lives or works with Israelis uses WhatsApp because of the encryption. [some use Telegram, but that is only for missile warnings and war updates] You would think that those in charge of us not getting blown up might know about the apps with the best encryption algorithm. Do as the Israelis do for God’s sake. Israel has successfully hidden the details of a vibrant nuclear program from the world for over 50 years. If anyone can tell you how to hide shit it’s the kibbutzniks in Jerusalem.)

Ok so now what? Where do we go from here?

Honestly (and maybe a podcast from Bari Weiss is being hatched right now), there needs to be some kind of Congressional oversight as to WTF just happened. Not simply the butt dial, but the use of these apps in the first place. And no I don’t think this just started with the Trump administration. I think our entire national security apparatus has gotten lazy and the thought of actually talking to people in person in meetings is too beyond the average person. (This stay at home and stay away from other people has really screwed with the entire world.)

Meanwhile, I thought that Trump made all the federal workers come back to the office. If a GS 12 has to be in their little cubicle on K Street, why don’t those who supposedly have access to the nation’s most important national security secrets need to show up for meetings in person? Why aren’t they in a secure location say at the Pentagon? Can’t they get out of their pajamas and go to a central location and discuss how to open the shipping lanes? Wouldn’t it be better to show maps in person with a laser beam pointing out the actual important shit, and then somehow get secure calls from CENTCOM to discuss the real time movements of the boats (Yes, I know they call these floating cities ships). For heaven’s sake they do that on the NCIS TV show all the time. You would think they could do that in real life, too.

I remember when Barack Obama became president there was this massive national meltdown because he didn’t want to stop using his blackberry. (For you younguns the blackberry is the boomer’s favorite phone because it had a real keyboard. Husband was so upset when they stopped making it and he had to switch to an iphone). The secret service made a huge deal about getting the president a special secure blackberry that no one could hack and it would not be compromised. They actually held press conferences about it in order to assure the country of its security and safety, In reality, the Secret Service, NSA, CIA and every other national security agency, instrument, even the janitorial staff were really pissed off at Obama for insisting on keeping that phone.

And now we got mavens using an everyday app to discuss battle plans for keeping the world’s shipping lanes open. Good job guys…and gal. Just heard apparently Tulsi was on the text chain she just didn’t chime in. (Bet Obama’s really annoyed at the universal meltdown he went through now.)

(Oh and Tulsi just announced that Iran isn’t actively trying to build a nuclear bomb, too. Yeah, we’re going to survive this Presidency…. sure.)

Meanwhile, I have yet to figure out how they added Goldberg* to the text chain. We use Slack at work and if you are not actively added by a manager to different departments you can’t be included in their threads. To think it is easier to have butt dialed in Jeffrey Goldberg into a national security briefing than it would have been to add him into a thread discussing pricing for my company’s latest tchotchke.

IT IS DAY 536 OF THE HOSTAGES BEING STARVED AND HELD IN THE TERROR DUNGEONS OF GAZA 🎗️

Leave a comment but remember the rules. Anything nasty will be deleted.

Note: I have not activated paid subscriptions. But I have created a tip jar. HERE

On the other hand, if you feel that I have reached you in some way, please give to your local food bank or local animal shelter.

*Do not confuse Jeffrey Goldberg, the managing editor of The Atlantic with Jonah Goldberg, a founding editor of The Dispatch. Years ago watching one of my Sunday Morning news/talk shows, these 2 gentlemen were on a panel discussion and they joked how people confuse them to the point that they get each other’s antisemitic hate emails.