Island

Solitary, alone, recluse

So I was thinking about this poem by John Donne

No man is an island,

Entire of itself;

Every man is a piece of the continent,

A part of the main.

If a clod be washed away by the sea,

Europe is the less,

As well as if a promontory were:

As well as if a manor of thy friend's

Or of thine own were.

Any man's death diminishes me,

Because I am involved in mankind.

And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls;

It tolls for thee.

Accept not for the reason you may be thinking. Not because of some grand scheme of koombaya or trying to figure out how we can all get along. Nope. Not at this moment at least.

I was thinking how nice it would be to actually have enough money to buy myself a private island, ala Richard Branson, but unlike the Virgin founder I would never invite anyone to visit. Uh uh, if I was able to find a getaway, far far far away in another galaxy you can be certain that is where I would be headed.

Do you ever just have enough of people? Ok, I don’t mean my husband or sons. Even though there are times when a really quiet house is very nice. I just mean people in general. Do you ever get tired of attitudes and egos, combined with ridiculous expectations of entitlement.

It’s not even anything one person does or says. I honestly think its the cumulative effect of something really wrong with the world. Honestly. And its not even social media. Social media just exacerbates the already convoluted interactive shenanigans we all have to deal with.

You think humans being ridiculous, insidious, asinine, or inane is new?

Listen, I grew up during the Cold War. We used to have drills in school in case the Soviets decided to launch nuclear missiles. You would either go into the hallway, crouch down, facing the wall with your head between your legs, or you would crouch under your desk in much the same fashion. Oh and you would put your hands over the back of your neck to help protect your cranium.Not sure how this was supposed to protect us from dieing in an atomic strike, but it made people feel better I suppose. I just thought it was stupid and still do.

I guess that it was some bureaucrat’s way of trying to calm fears or anxiety in the population. Whether the people actually bought this crap I don’t know. We never talked about it at home. It really was not dinner table conversation. You know let’s talk about how to survive a nuclear war. (and yes there were some who actually did build fallout shelters and stocked them. Today we call them preppers. In all honesty the husband is a mini-prepper.) Personally if ever faced with whether to survive a nuclear holocaust or not, I’m really not all that interested in trying to figure it out. Godspeed to those who want to survive such a cataclysm, but I hope I would not be one of them. (I know, I know, where there is life there is hope. But honestly, I am really not interested in figuring out how to make things work again if it all goes to hell in a hand basket.)

Now there was this terrific movie during this period with a panel discussion afterwards about what would happen in the aftermath of a nuclear war called “The Day After.” It was a realistic look at the projected effects on the world and human society in the even of a major nuclear war. (Probably why I am not really interested in being a survivor.) One of the panelists was Nobel Laureate and author Elie Wiesel. (If you haven’t already read his autobiography of the Holocaust read Night, but then read the companion book Dawn.)

I still remember Elie’s first take on the entire movie. I actually can recall his exact words, in speaking of the possible annihilation of society he said, “Suddenly everyone in the world is Jewish.” Yeah, that’s the reaction you get when confronting the realities of a nuclear holocaust from someone who spent their adolescence as a slave in a Nazi death camp.

I also lived through when the Berlin Wall came down and the Soviet Union dissolved. It was something to behold. And something very mishandled by western politicians (so what else is new.) Meanwhile, what I do remember was that there was a huge sense of relief in a way that we had passed a precipice that the thought of human’s destroying themselves had passed. That this very frightening reality was no longer our reality.

I realized too, that the feeling of comfort was actually me fooling myself. Because one day there was an attempted coup by Soviet military hardliners in Russia trying to overthrow the new Russian president Boris Yeltsin. I have to tell you he was not the greatest choice for the first post Soviet president, by any stretch of the imagination.

And what I felt while the coup played out on international television was fear, trepidation, and panic. I had lived under the illusion that there was no more threat of an atomic catastrophe. That come what may, we were safe. But suddenly you had those who were true believers in this oppressive communist system who were trying to regain their foot hold on power and of course, the first thing they would want is to tear up any agreement that lessened their nuclear arsenal.

I honestly think that it hit me hard as an adult, because I was holding my 10 month old in my arms at the time as I watched everything unfold in real time.

It was the same with the start of the first Gulf war. My son was 3 months old, and right on time for the evening news the bombs starting dropping on Baghdad. My infant let out a wail. What was really odd on that night, you would walk out onto the streets of NYC, and it was dead quiet. It was as if the entire world knew that the four horsemen were on their way.

Interesting though, after 9/11 the streets of NYC were not that quiet. It really was as if New Yorkers were thumbing their noses at those who had wanted to murder us. Word to the wise, even in our most messed up state of affairs, the one thing you really don’t want to do is mess with New Yorkers. We may have this really weird tendency to lurch to the left, but it doesn’t really mean we will take crap. With New Yorkers, we watch our back, we take care who is in front, and at the same time we give people just enough room to hang themselves. You might call that passive -aggressive, but its still all done in a New Yorker kinda way.

Listen, we all know you are also not supposed to mess with Texas. In fact, I have quite a number of friends who live there and I know you really don’t pull crap on the average Texan. The difference, as far as I can tell, between Texans and New Yorkers though is in how we deal with issues, in that there is no passive in the passive-aggressive when it comes to Texans.

You see if we in New York and those in Texas could actually work hand in glove instead of trying to find ways to induce each other to secede from the Union, we might actually be able to solve many of the country’s issue. But that is a topic for another day, and not necessarily a topic I am all that anxious to broach.

So what is this island thing that keeps popping up in my head. Weird shit just crawls its way into my brain (and no its not a worm ala RFK, jr. I don’t eat pork so no parasite.) and I cant stop thinking about how nice it would be to be left all alone.

As I said, I don’t really need social media for any of this. We had all kinds of problems, and concerns throughout the world from the beginning of time. I think that is why Billy Joels’ song, We didn’t Start the Fire was such a big hit, apart from the fact that it was Billy Joel (whom I hope is doing better every day.) Fall Out Boy should have left this one alone.

Of course the Russian foreign minister had to imply yesterday that if the west doesn’t force Ukraine to surrender to Putin it will mean WW3 (they of course have been threatening to use nuclear weapons since the beginning of the war too). Looks like the soviet hardliners are back, but presenting as if they are part of the old Tsarist empire. It would never dawn on the Russians that if they are concerned about nuclear war starting over Ukraine, THEY could surrender, leave Ukraine, return all the stolen Ukrainian children and pay reparations to Ukraine for all the damage and loss of life they caused. Interesting how the reality of leaving people alone and staying in your own lane never dawns on a bully. Well, until you smack them down so hard they will be reticent to ever get back up.

Truthfully, there comes a time I think in life that you really just want to sit quiet and take in the world around you. I joke with a friend how when we are really really really old ladies, we are going to buy a house together and go live in the OuterBanks. (I don’t know why I picked that part of North Carolina, maybe I lived there in a past life. I have actually never been.) We will buy a house with a wrap around porch, get some rocking chairs, sit, drink quite alot of alcohol, and watch the sun set over the Atlantic. Yeah, I’m not going to be one of those little old ladies who just sits and drinks tea, but I think you figured that one out already.

So that is my idea of peace and quiet. I love the water, quiet, and nature does have a way of creating tranquility.

Moreover, if I can’t buy an island (I mean how many of us really can) then I have always wanted to live on the beach. You know you start to think of these things as you get close to retirement. Where will your money go further. Where would you really like to spend your “golden years.”

Also somebody needs to explain to me why they call it the “golden years.” Is it supposed to be the rest and relaxation years you earned after a life of hard work? I don’t know about that. I think you might get pretty bored, pretty quickly. Ok, that is probably why so many retirees have a drinking problem. (and apparently they have an STD problem, too. Especially in these 55 and older establishments. That entire idea makes me simply nauseous. Can you imagine? Randy, diseased geezers, getting it on and giving each other the clap.)

But meanwhile, the husband and I were talking about where we would like to move. I told him, I like where we live in our bucolic suburbs with the forests, animals and the wilderness right behind us. But there really isn’t very much for the boys where we live, or me or him for that matter. I wanted to find some other place which might have more job opportunities closer to home, or larger city centers and social outlets close by. (NYC is too overwhelming for the boys, and where we live is pretty isolated. This remote thing is not conducive to social skills, peer interactions or a future really. ).

I reiterated, because I do say this all the time, that I really want to live on the beach.

So in his rather smart alecky, sort of obnoxious way, his response was, “give it a few years, and our property will be on the beach.” (He is definitely not a climate denier. And that is also his go to response every time I bring up the subject.)

Many things go through this brain of mine on a daily basis. Not the least of which is that there are so many days that I really would like to become a hermit. But in a 5 star, modern convenience, high speed wifi, fly in the caviar and champagne kind of way. Not the cold, damp, sleeping bag, poop in the woods Kaczynski kind of way.

But then I also get to the end of the poem, and as usual befitting the depressed state of affairs of our world, we are reminded that the tolling bell comes for us all. Well yes, nobody and nothing living escapes death. It’s the only thing we are guaranteed. They used to say death and taxes, but with all the tax loopholes some never pay taxes, just ask the U.S. President.

IT IS DAY 601 OF THE HOSTAGES BEING STARVED AND HELD IN THE TERROR DUNGEONS OF GAZA 🎗️

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