They say Home is the place, where when you show up at the front door, they have to take you in.
Now we do have several different types of homes as we grow through life. We all start out in our parent’s home. You may even have your own room, which causes a form of personality reversion when you step back into it as an adult. This, of course, causes quite the consternation between married couples when they see their respective partners digress into child-like behavior with child-like acumen when it comes to the real world. And yes it is cliched. But cliches are based upon quite alot of typical behavior.
Then there is the first home away from home. A college dorm for many, and that first roommate apartment. This is where you learn to spread your wings, make mistakes and suffer some consequences, hopefully not long term. It is where you learn to navigate the adult world without the daily guidance of someone who has been through the mill. It is where you learn to prioritize, coordinate, and shuffle through your life in order to build on some future you would like for yourself.
For many we then make a “home” when we get married. You try to gel 2 distinct human beings into 1 cohesive unit that agrees to disagree about quite alot of things throughout your life. Remember, however, one of the places you should be comfortable together is home. Oh, it doesn’t mean you agree all the time on what color to paint the walls, or which fabric to choose for a couch. But what it means is that you look forward to walking in that door after a day out into the world and it brings contentment and joy. If it does not, then sadly something is very wrong. You need to feel happiness, even without talking to one another, that those other people in the room with you are part of your whole.
Home is the place where you are free to be who you really are. You should feel free to embrace the real you in your home. You need a place to express yourself and this is your safe space, the place without condescension or derision. This is the place you can try out new things and where you may learn to spread your wings further than you ever thought possible. It is the place where support and love find itself.
Home is a sense of belonging. That within these walls is an aura of good will. That there are those who are happy to embrace everything about you from the color of your hair, to the little scar on your tushie; from your obsession with ancient Rome to your need to delve into medieval germ warfare; from your knowing every word of One Fish Two Fish by Dr. Seuss (even though you don’t have any young children yet) to your championing of Rousseau over Voltaire; to a discussion about the benefits of laissez faire capitalism to the understanding of the need for trust busting.
Home should be a place where your wildest dreams can come true. Home is where you map out your future. It is the place where the seeds of ambition are planted and then nurtured. It is the place where you are supported when you shoot for the stars and if you miss, people at home will be here to catch you.
Home is where you are allowed to dream. It is the place where in the middle of the night you can sit up in bed and plot out the moves in your own story. You can take your time to figure out the different acts of your life and revel in where you want to go and delve into how you will get there.
And if in your home you are the only one there for you, then that is quite enough as well. As long as you understand your worth. As long as you push away any negative thoughts and hold firm to your sense of self, a 1 person home is more than enough. It is better than having a house full of persons who simply don’t believe in you. As they say, being alone doesn’t necessary mean you are lonely. And being alone doesn’t necessary mean you need to put up with those in your life who do not value you, support you, and stand in your way. Sometimes it takes a bit longer to fill our home. But it doesn’t mean you need to settle for less than you deserve.
Home needs to be synonymous with your strength. Home is more than a roof over your head. It is the one place that is yours and yours alone. Of course if you have many people living in your house, you don’t get the entire abode, you get a small area-like a corner in the kitchen, where you put a writing desk. But that space is completely and unadulteratedly yours. It has your signature on it. You mark your territory. It is where you can put your feet up and start clicking away on your laptop as thoughts come spilling out of your brain into the void we call the internet.
Home is where you feel an emptiness when those you love (animals as well as people) are not around. It is a place of constant change enduring the ravages of time, in order to come out at the other end needing simply another coat of paint and a new roof.
Home is the place where your heart and your soul meet in order to create you.
Note: I have not activated paid subscriptions. I do see other authors use a tip jar or ask to buy them a coffee. I am not going to do that. If you feel that I have reached you in some way, please give to your local food bank.
Thanks for the restack
This is poetry.
So many priceless chunks here