Food

Do you eat to live, or live to eat?

Right now with grocery bills so high, I’m sure that the majority of us are simply trying to figure out nutritious meals on a budget. Learning to cook from scratch is a good way to start. At least that way you also know what goes into your food.

Believe me when I tell you I have been preservative conscious for decades when scientists first came out with a study showing how the chemicals in food can cause ADHD in children. Well, at that time I tried to get rid of everything I could that had red dye and too many preservatives. Truth be told you cannot get rid of everything unless you become an organic farmer. And a green thumb I do not have.

Oh I tried. I planted beef steak tomatoes one year. Did everything it said to do in the little “how to grow tomatoes manual.” In the end, I got 1 tomato which looked like those little cherry tomatoes out of 5 huge plants. You read that right 1 teeny tiny tomato.

Then, another year we bought one of those planter tables for the porch. You put in really good growing soil and follow the directions when it comes to your veggies. I tried to plant herbs. And….nope.

If our food supply was up to my agricultural talents, we would all starve. Friends on the other hand have veggies galore. Full victory gardens. The lady who used to do my nails, would grow so many tomatoes and cucumbers, she would hand them out at every manucure for customers. But me? I just about don’t kill lucky bamboo.

Which is good because being superstitious if I killed the lucky bamboo I would feel cursed. Yeah I know it’s silly, but superstition is still a part of who I am, cue me wearing my hamsa, Star of David, and having the mezuzahs on my doors. Ok, mezuzahs are a command from hashem, but I do think they keep away the evil eye as well.

Meanwhile, I have to be honest, eating is not my biggest fun thing. If I could subsist by taking a pill I would be fine. I do not need all the fancy shmancy extra fine dining that people go to. Yes, I have been there and done that. Honestly, I always walk away hungry. I really dont get how small portions actually mean the food is better.

I suppose that is my peasant background. Being brought up on brisket, verenikas (but my grandmother would make the dough with matzo meal instead of flour), kugel and old world Ashkenazi Jewish delicacies, along with modern American fair, there is no way I am going to think that a radish, 1 stalk of asparagus with 2 slices of wagyu beef is a full meal. Sorry.

Ok, yes I am exaggerating. They do give you 3 pieces of lettuce with lemon for your salad and a square of cheese with a cookie for dessert. They then charge you hundreds of dollars. I just watched a food vlogger at 11 Madison Park pay hundreds of dollars to eat braised leeks. (Ok yes that was only 1 course. There were 10 courses in all, everything vegetarian. Inventive. Most of which I couldn’t eat since I am gluten free.)

Yeah, sure, I admit it, I know I am not being fair. The elements, time, and effort that go into creating some of these food masterpieces are enormous. There is a reason that Michelin gives out stars and they mean something. Being able to mold edible disparate pieces of organic matter is truly a creative gift akin to being a sculpture or a painter. And no you don’t have to be a raging asshole to be a good chef no matter what you see on TV.

But, I just don’t enjoy “fine dining.” But since you need to eat in order to live, I have given in and decided to at least figure out how to make things taste good. Perhaps, my feeling towards food is also because at one point in my youth I truly believed “nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.” Maybe it’s a residual effect from my youth when I would sit and count calories all day and figure out ways to work off meals (No I was not bulimic. I did have a college roommate one time mention how when the radiator was broken and the room was so hot it was like a sauna, that I loved it because it meant it helped with my calorie loss. By the way, I am many things today, thin is not one of them. I like most women my age have those 10-20 pounds we would all like to lose. )

And of course, my disaffection for food can also be tempered with the issues that surround food in a home with autistic children. Along with strict schedules and OCD, come food issues, aversions, allergies, and obsessions. It is not enough to say if they are hungry they will eat, because when it comes to autistic children that is not true. So learning to navigate the ins and outs of special diets does take the charm off the steak bone. (We went through some very interesting times too. Oral motor issues that caused chewing problems, and textural issues which made certain foods anathema.)

Listen, children like adults are also allowed to have their likes and dislikes when it comes to food. Of course, a person cannot grow while eating only chocolate ice cream (even though it would be alot of fun it ever could be that way), so you do need to make sure they get their veggies. But if a child doesn’t like chicken they are entitled to not eat chicken. Find a different protein. If a child doesn’t like brussel sprouts, find a different veggie that provides the same vitamins. (Honestly this is why the corporate gods also created children’s supplemental vitamins.)

And not every meal an adult will eat, a child will eat, or is appropriate for a child either. There is nothing wrong with PB&J. There is nothing wrong with chicken nuggets as long as it is real chicken. There is nothing wrong with baked fries. People need to stop worrying so much and work around things.

Remember, back in the day, children didn’t eat with the adults. There were all those scenes in Downton Abbey that the children ate in the nursery and they had children’s meals while the adults ate adult food in the diningroom. Why we think it should be any different today is astounding. Human nature really doesn’t change that much.

Yes, I know back in them olden days of the mid20th century, the average American plebeian mom made 1 meal and that is what everyone ate. Mostly I think since mom had other things to do besides staying in the kitchen all day. Also meals became family time in our hectic worlds. Dad came home at 6pm and we all ate dinner together. I also think that the reason there was 1 meal is that the family budget was the family budget. You didn’t create a meal plan for the adults and one for the children. That was for the rich and privileged (like in Downton Abbey).

But then society changed. Around the time my boys were born. I think mostly because food manufacturers figured out how to make more than frozen TV dinners for convenience. (I remember when as a child we used to have TV dinners. It was such a treat! We always got so excited! We just loved it!) Now when you go to the store there is so much frozen choices and prepared foods that it is easy to simply take something out of the freezer, pop it in the oven and everyone gets their choice of meal.

Food was not so plentiful back in the days when I was little, as well. Oh there were full supermarkets, but if you wanted a particular special food (say tortellini instead of just dried pasta from a box), you had to make it yourself. It just wasn’t sitting on a grocery shelf.

Of course, they now say that it is these prepared foods that is killing everyone. It is the preservatives and the chemicals that are causing the cancer rise in the young. (well besides the sedentary lifestyle) That the ultra processed foods are the “no go” of the moment.

(I will be honest with you, I am not totally sure what the difference is between processed and ultraprocessed food is. I think it has to do with the number of changes that need to occur to the food to get it to be what you purchased. But don’t quote me on that. I know my son’s nutritionist told me that something we eat is considered ultraprocessed. She told us we should stop eating it. We haven’t. Will we? It’s chicken hotdogs. I still don’t understand how that is bad for you. I told you in another essay that there is going to come a point that the only things we can eat are soy, water, broccoli, and air.)

Listen, I think there is just too much politics now around food as well. The MAHA (Make America Healthy Again) movement is simply the latest luxury belief, with their expensive water filtration systems and organic no seed oil lifestyles. It would also be nice if when we go to the grocery store the healthy food was cheaper, but its not. It would be nice if the food pyramid back in the 1970’s hadn’t fucked everything up and put so much emphasis on carbs with the government allowing so many bad things into our food supply, too. (Seriously, why are certain things not allowed in Europe or Canada, but it’s ok here?)

But in the end I think it comes down to buying as healthy as you can within the budget that you have. Trying to figure out ways to make food interesting and enticing. It doesn’t have to be fancy. It doesn’t have to look pretty, even though it helps. Food is part of society and the way society interacts with each other. Holidays are all celebrated with huge meals, no matter the religion. Food is the centerpiece of any of life’s milestone. Food is a big deal. But it is just not the only thing.

No I do not live to eat, I eat to live.

IT IS DAY 526 OF THE HOSTAGES BEING STARVED AND HELD IN THE TERROR DUNGEONS OF GAZA 🎗️

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