Crone

Witch, seer, sorceress....

It is official. I have reached my crone stage. Well according to social security I have, but not according to my own mental image of myself. I can honestly say I don’t feel that much different than I did at 25. Maybe a little creekier, but not quite ready to walk onto the Charron and cross into the elysium fields. And yes, I recognize that my body also doesn’t look like it did when I was 25 either. After several pregnancies of course it doesn’t, and anyone who tells you that pregnancy had no effect on their body is either lieing or had alot of plastic surgery (and are thus lieing about having had plastic surgery).

By the way, even not having been pregnant your body isn’t the same as it was at 25. Don’t care what your diet is, or how often you do pilates and yoga. Gravity is a heartless bitch.

Oh, and if you don’t like me using the word “bitch,” too bad. I actually had a child (meaning a young woman in her early 20s) who worked behind the desk at one of my sons’ doctor’s offices, chastise me for using that word. Because men use it to disarm and denigrate women, she said. Which is true if you have ever gotten into an argument with a male, at some point.

However, on the one hand, there really are some women who deserve the moniker. But on the other hand, depending on the woman you are talking about, calling her a “bitch” could be an insult to bitches (meaning a female dog which are wonderful creatures and very protective of their offspring). And no I did not argue with the child-woman. I simply ignored her like I ignore all persons who tell me what to say or what to think. (Arguing with someone like that is like arguing with a rock. You get nowhere because like a rock their brains are made of dead matter.)

So back to the idea that I am a crone.

Cybill Shepherd had a lovely show years ago where she played a B, ok maybe D list actress, but one that could afford a lovely house. The great Christine Baranski was her lush of a friend. The main character was on the verge of becoming a grandma so she opined that she had reached the crone stage of life. (No, I am nowhere near becoming a grandma, but my friends and relatives are all grandparents). For some reason, that show actually stuck with me.

I think it was the first time anyone actually explored the word “crone” in any kind of content, that was a net positive for women. I mean, historically the crone was the witch that lived in the woods that ate Hansel and Gretel. It was the crone that gave Snow White the poison apple. It was the crone that caused all kinds of evil and nefarious goings on in a society.

If you look back at who was considered witches in society you have the crone. The elderly, single woman (the original cat lady by the way, but only black cats of course) who lived on the margins of the community and basically kept to herself. Her age made her wrinkled, lack of dental care left her almost toothless, she had all manners of dermatological issue, like warts, rashes and a lifetime of scars, her hands were gnarled from labor and her back was hunched from lack of proper diet. Of course, this was most of society that lived to any old age during before modern medicine. Remember during most of human history 35 years was very old too. Historically, life was considered short, brutal, and nasty for the majority of humanity.

You see these women- the crones- also shirked the normal rules that society laid out for women. By living alone, and being independent of men, they presented a challenge to the male dominated society (Ok, patriarchy). How could it be that women, especially old women, could live independent lives without the need of male protection and male dominance. How was it that women could make decisions for themselves and run their own affairs? There had to be something satanic in that.

It never dawned on those that ran society that perhaps if they were kinder, more genteel, perhaps understanding of the elderly woman’s situation maybe these women would not have felt the need to leave society. Instead society found a reason to harm these women further.

So the age of the crone was born. Honestly, I think we can really thank The Grimm Brothers for that as well. Well for at least putting it down on paper. The fables had existed for eons. They simply made money off of the stories. Really good entrepreneurs. Capitalism, meritocracy and figuring out how to make money in society. Good on them. Bad for women.

It also didn’t help the reputation of crones that there were witchfinders that produced books on what to look for and how to test if a woman was a witch. My favorite examination is the dunking chair. (Favorite, as in the biggest fucking asshole way) Tied to a chair they lowered you into a pond. If you drowned you were not a witch (but your soul went to heaven, so that was ok, not really murder), but if you survived you were a witch and hung. Only misogynists could come up with this crap. (It’s like honor murders. Instead of killing your daughter’s rapist you kill your daughter for being raped.)

In truth, throughout history crones have been seen as the anathema of what a true woman is supposed to be. Of course, that also meant that crones were subject to harsh treatment, banishment or worse.

In today’s world we don’t think much of the moniker “crone.“ We don’t have witchfinders, well sort of. Just listen HERE. While they don’t ride around with government warrants anymore, witchfinders do try to destroy people for having the nerve to hold the wrong beliefs, thoughts, or to be independent enough to fight against the tide if they think it is wrong. And yes, mostly they attack women.

So as I enter the “crone” part of life, I am reminded that in the length of history it was not safe to be a crone. But in today’s world, it can be an asset. If you are thought of as enough of a pain in the ass, maybe people will simply leave you alone, which is what crones wanted in the first place for all these millenia.