When life gets in the way of your normal….
My oldest likes to go swimming several times a week. This is the pool where he goes. And yep, that is a car in the kiddie section of the pool area. The person drove right through the glass cantilevered wall. There used to be one of those big mushroom waterfalls which the car took out. The one where the toddlers would run in and out of with joyful abandon. Luckily this happened before the little ones began to come for the afternoon classes and free swim or there would have been a horrible disaster.
No one was hurt. Even the driver walked away.
Now tell me there are no such thing as guardian angels … (why it happened, medical, mechanical they haven’t made public yet).
Needlesstosay, my son can’t swim there now. At least for 2 months while they repair all the damage.
And if anyone knows anything about autism, then you know schedule is very important. Consistency is core to comfort. So there was quite the initial hiccup when we had to help him figure out next steps.
Now the swim club does have an alternative pool, but that is quite far away from us and I went back to work last week leaving me less time to drive him where he wants/needs to go. My leave of absence from work because of my surgery ended. Yes, I work from home, but I still have hours and a schedule to keep.
(Son can’t drive because he has dyskinesia/tourettes. His movements are not totally controlled.)
We did investigate closer pools and pool clubs. There is even the university where he got his masters degree within a few miles of us, and they have a pool. It just didn’t work out. Unfortunately, there has been some roadblocks with other places as well. Not their fault, but in truth the hours mostly were not conducive for our family.
So in the end the hubby, who does have more leeway at the moment in his work schedule, is driving son to the far away pool. Instead of going 3x a week though he needed to cut back to 2x a week, just because we don’t have the time to take him. It took a few days for this to sink in though. Was he happy? Not at first, but he did learn to accept the new reality.
He does have a full gym in the basement with cardio and weight machines, btw so it’s not like he doesn’t get exercise, but swimming is special. It is his happy place. (Yes, the exercise equipment is for all of us actually.)
We did get text messages galore from him about the swimming when the accident first happened. He was upset for a variety of reasons. I think mostly because he wasn’t so sure what was going to happen at the other pool and when he could now go. He/We didn’t know if they would understand who he was and the agreement we had with the owners how the hubby or I would go with him. Brilliant he is, its the social piece he needs help with. (As advocates like to point out, it is such a misnomer to say an autistic person is high functioning because they don’t have an intellectual disability. There are so many aspects to a person’s being and being intellectually gifted does not denote that there aren’t other issues that need support.)
But, on the way home the from the first swim, I got a text message from son, telling me that he had a really good time and that everyone was really nice. He was truly relieved, happy and quite content. (The hubby was happy to. He also mentioned this last time when they went how nice everyone was. When you have an autistic child and you have to deal with the world, not everything works out, and not everyone is kind. That is the first lesson you learn very early on. So there is some bit of anxiety for the parent when changes occur, too. You know how I have written before, hope for the best but plan for the worst. It may be a hard way to live, but it too is reality.)
New things, curveballs as son says, always throw him. They are the bain of his existence. He will even tell you that he doesn’t handle them well. He knows this is still a skill he needs to work on. Yet, after years of support, we think he actually did great with this new kerfuffle.
While he obsessed for days about going to the “new” pool with us trying to figure out the new swim schedule, he ended up accepting the new regime, at least until his pool could be repaired. How long that will be, well they gave everyone an end date for reopening, but we figured it might take a little longer. Like when the contractors tell you that your kitchen upgrade will take 2 months and it takes 6 months instead. Always, tack on the extra time.
And he starts a new job next week too, so he is nervous about that schedule as well, since he isn’t quite sure of his work hours. We did explain to him that it is probably 9-5 , M-F like a regular job and that is why they didn’t tell him specifically because it is something that is just understood (yes he got an offer letter so its legit). And he will have to adjust his swim schedule… again. He will have to adjust his day-to-day life in fact. Before he was just freelance and as long as he got his work done they didn’t care when he did it, so he created a schedule that was conducive to his “work-life” balance. This job is homebased so that does help. He doesn’t have to travel into an office. (Hubby told him it is time to join the real world of work anyway.)
By the way what is this generation’s obsession with “work-life” balance. When we were that age we were happy to have a job and to be able to pay our bills. Now these kids want to make sure they have a life outside the office. Really? My friend’s daughter changed jobs because she worked so much at her old job she didn’t even have time to go to church. Hrumph, to think that they want to go to church instead of work…how unAmerican. (sarcasm)
Anyway, curveballs galore and a new and interesting future is starting.
This will be a new chapter for all of us.
Who said that being a senior citizen doesn’t come with interesting adventures.
IT IS DAY 524 OF THE HOSTAGES BEING STARVED AND HELD IN THE TERROR DUNGEONS OF GAZA 🎗️
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