Wow, could I say a lot about this topic, as a feminist author who was once constantly cited and quoted and called for comment, and now is not even read (let alone restacked) by younger feminists on substack!!
I have always felt I moved through the world mostly unseen. I preferred it that way. Unseen does not mean unseeing, and when you are unseen you see a lot you might otherwise miss.
I think for me it was the realization that one day, you really don't matter. You matter of course to the people around you, but in the scheme of things you are taken for granted or dismissed from the culture (older people really are not respected or thought of), politics (my vote is taken for granted either because they think as a voting bloc I will vote one way so they don't even try to court me for my vote), and society at large (people forget that everyone will get older, and it is a privilege denied to many, and society is not thankful for that). Or maybe I am just a cranky old lady :)
I realized long ago that you don't matter to 99.9999999...% of people. You are a cardboard cutout, a piece of background scenery, or at best an NPC to them. Most of the people who pay attention to you want something from you. OK, fine tell me what you want from me and I will decide but don't pretend you care about me. It's a lie and I don't like liars. Maybe all of that is because I was never an in-group person. I was mostly an outsider or an outlier. I usually went my own way. As such, I was already a lost cause in their book. That's OK with me, I fought my whole life just to be me and I don't figure I'll stop now. You can be cranky or you can decide they don't really matter. There is one person you can guarantee will be with you for the rest of your life. That is you. So let your flag fly high and F*#& the people who don't notice. It's their loss and you have more energy for the handful of people who see you and love you for who you are.
Wow, could I say a lot about this topic, as a feminist author who was once constantly cited and quoted and called for comment, and now is not even read (let alone restacked) by younger feminists on substack!!
Oh these younger feminists are in a group all their own. I suppose Phyllis Chesler would have something to add to that too.
Hello EKB I see you.
Your value is immense by appreciation of your hard won wisdom.
I don’t bother either what others think but I certainly feel the shift.
Many older women are rocking it
Others are resting
You choose and anything in between
Have fun
I’m glad you’re here!
🌹🔥💚
I have always felt I moved through the world mostly unseen. I preferred it that way. Unseen does not mean unseeing, and when you are unseen you see a lot you might otherwise miss.
I think for me it was the realization that one day, you really don't matter. You matter of course to the people around you, but in the scheme of things you are taken for granted or dismissed from the culture (older people really are not respected or thought of), politics (my vote is taken for granted either because they think as a voting bloc I will vote one way so they don't even try to court me for my vote), and society at large (people forget that everyone will get older, and it is a privilege denied to many, and society is not thankful for that). Or maybe I am just a cranky old lady :)
I realized long ago that you don't matter to 99.9999999...% of people. You are a cardboard cutout, a piece of background scenery, or at best an NPC to them. Most of the people who pay attention to you want something from you. OK, fine tell me what you want from me and I will decide but don't pretend you care about me. It's a lie and I don't like liars. Maybe all of that is because I was never an in-group person. I was mostly an outsider or an outlier. I usually went my own way. As such, I was already a lost cause in their book. That's OK with me, I fought my whole life just to be me and I don't figure I'll stop now. You can be cranky or you can decide they don't really matter. There is one person you can guarantee will be with you for the rest of your life. That is you. So let your flag fly high and F*#& the people who don't notice. It's their loss and you have more energy for the handful of people who see you and love you for who you are.