Not really, but it certainly feels like it on some days from healthcare, to butchered hostages, to sledgehammer politics, to isolationism, to autism realities
You’re the best. You weave many topics and themes together seamlessly, which for an average writer can usually ends in disaster. The average writer is often scolded for even attempting it. It usually ends up being a series of disjointed non sequitur shoehorned together. Terrible. But like I said, seamless, imperceptible segues. Your parantheticals and “asides”, somehow do not distract attention. If someone was editing the average writer trying to convey the same thoughts, the most common note would be “this needs to be 3-4 separate pieces.” It’s amazing to read, and I dare not try to emulate it myself, I don’t have those gifts as a writer. There aren’t enough superlatives to convey how highly I think of it. I apologize on behalf of the rest of us who can’t write on your level, we must be such a chore to read.
Thank you for such high praise. Actually what you are reading is my stream of thoughts.
And as far as others writing, I love to read others substacks. If you go to my recommendations there are dozens. Each person has a unique style which is how the reader is able to reach inside the writers mind and feel every word as it is written.
Do your boys have a socially network of other on the spectrum or neurodivese?(rhetorical q) Being in a group where you don't need to mask can really build confidence. (As an aside a neurotypical person will usually freak in such a group so who has the disability, lol).
Also some industries/jobs attract more people who are likely to be on the spectrum.
With both these ideas you still need to be careful but it can help.
The boys have been in and out of support groups over the years. There really isnt much for their age, but we keep looking. There is some stuff online though
Well the funny thing is the industry that my older son was supposed to go into is the one for the “nerdy” kids but he couldn’t get a job interview in that area either.
I dont think it’s actually about a specific industry, I actually think its about the kindness of the people who they work for.
"They do not fit into the programs set up for adults with disabilities because they do not have an intellectual disability, but they do not fit into the neurotypical world because they are after all noticeably autistic."
This was my experience too. I can mask for a while, but trying to do it long-term leads to burnout and severe depression, hence several jobs that lasted until I burnt out and was -- not exactly fired, but it was made impossible for me to stay.
I was a "failure to launch" for many years with burnout and depression from school and university. I started working in my thirties. I'd done voluntary work for a few years before then. My current job is a very basic office-admin job two days a week that I'm massively over-qualified for (on paper), but I still struggle with it, make stupid mistakes (after over four years doing it) and which makes me feel ill (at the end of the day and by the end of the week). But, it is a job, the salary is good for what it is, it's a small, quiet office and my boss is understanding. All pluses.
I was lucky -- I happened to know my boss from shul and he needed some help in an hurry during COVID (without going in to what I do, it's a key worker role, so I was working in the office even during COVID) and knew I was unemployed. It was a short-term thing that became permanent.
My wife is the main breadwinner, though. She is also neurodivergent (we think -- unlike me, she's not diagnosed), but has a WFH job with flexible hours that she can manage.
Thank you for telling me this. Yes I think the boys will do well at part time jobs, too. I think it’s really a matter of finding someone who is kind and understanding that will work with them and their disability.
I’m glad you’re happily married with an understanding partner. That is my hope for them someday too.
I wish I could give you some practical advice, but everything happened to me by luck (or rather, God). As I said, I got my current job without looking. Likewise, my marriage was not looked for (after years of struggling with dates with women who found me weird, if I even got to the date stage) — my wife found my blog and reached out through the contact page, although it was a long journey with lots of ups and downs before our chuppah in 2023.
Your writing is truly a masterclass. Your ability to weave language effortlessly to do your bidding is just so enjoyable to read (even if the topic isn’t, and the reader ends up in tears).
Have you written any books? I would buy all of them, and send copies to everyone.
Your boys won the lottery with you being their mother. Wishing you and your family the best.
Sending so much love. 💙 I’m feeling alone too, mourning our dead hostages in a community where no one cares. My father cared and raised me to be a Zionist but he’s gone now. I agree with what you said. I’ve fought the insurance companies too and the medical industry for its brutality against people with mental health issues. Yesterday one of my friends expressed her support for killing health care executives. And I can’t talk about where I work but it’s shocking what I see every day. I wish I could bring over some of the Israeli salad I just made and we could hang out. With you all the way from afar.
This may or not help you feel less alone, but for what its worth, I have stopped with the ritual "of course civilian casualties are tragic" and "I hate Bibi too but..." crap. It does exactly no good. They still hate us, so why bother. I find that I feel much better just caring about the Palestinians and their supporters exactly as much as they care about me.
In the meantime, we are not alone. We do have some allies out there, and we all have our communities as well. Shabbat Shalom
You’re the best. You weave many topics and themes together seamlessly, which for an average writer can usually ends in disaster. The average writer is often scolded for even attempting it. It usually ends up being a series of disjointed non sequitur shoehorned together. Terrible. But like I said, seamless, imperceptible segues. Your parantheticals and “asides”, somehow do not distract attention. If someone was editing the average writer trying to convey the same thoughts, the most common note would be “this needs to be 3-4 separate pieces.” It’s amazing to read, and I dare not try to emulate it myself, I don’t have those gifts as a writer. There aren’t enough superlatives to convey how highly I think of it. I apologize on behalf of the rest of us who can’t write on your level, we must be such a chore to read.
Thank you for such high praise. Actually what you are reading is my stream of thoughts.
And as far as others writing, I love to read others substacks. If you go to my recommendations there are dozens. Each person has a unique style which is how the reader is able to reach inside the writers mind and feel every word as it is written.
Do your boys have a socially network of other on the spectrum or neurodivese?(rhetorical q) Being in a group where you don't need to mask can really build confidence. (As an aside a neurotypical person will usually freak in such a group so who has the disability, lol).
Also some industries/jobs attract more people who are likely to be on the spectrum.
With both these ideas you still need to be careful but it can help.
Thank you for the thoughtful response.
The boys have been in and out of support groups over the years. There really isnt much for their age, but we keep looking. There is some stuff online though
Well the funny thing is the industry that my older son was supposed to go into is the one for the “nerdy” kids but he couldn’t get a job interview in that area either.
I dont think it’s actually about a specific industry, I actually think its about the kindness of the people who they work for.
"They do not fit into the programs set up for adults with disabilities because they do not have an intellectual disability, but they do not fit into the neurotypical world because they are after all noticeably autistic."
This was my experience too. I can mask for a while, but trying to do it long-term leads to burnout and severe depression, hence several jobs that lasted until I burnt out and was -- not exactly fired, but it was made impossible for me to stay.
I was a "failure to launch" for many years with burnout and depression from school and university. I started working in my thirties. I'd done voluntary work for a few years before then. My current job is a very basic office-admin job two days a week that I'm massively over-qualified for (on paper), but I still struggle with it, make stupid mistakes (after over four years doing it) and which makes me feel ill (at the end of the day and by the end of the week). But, it is a job, the salary is good for what it is, it's a small, quiet office and my boss is understanding. All pluses.
I was lucky -- I happened to know my boss from shul and he needed some help in an hurry during COVID (without going in to what I do, it's a key worker role, so I was working in the office even during COVID) and knew I was unemployed. It was a short-term thing that became permanent.
My wife is the main breadwinner, though. She is also neurodivergent (we think -- unlike me, she's not diagnosed), but has a WFH job with flexible hours that she can manage.
Thank you for telling me this. Yes I think the boys will do well at part time jobs, too. I think it’s really a matter of finding someone who is kind and understanding that will work with them and their disability.
I’m glad you’re happily married with an understanding partner. That is my hope for them someday too.
I wish I could give you some practical advice, but everything happened to me by luck (or rather, God). As I said, I got my current job without looking. Likewise, my marriage was not looked for (after years of struggling with dates with women who found me weird, if I even got to the date stage) — my wife found my blog and reached out through the contact page, although it was a long journey with lots of ups and downs before our chuppah in 2023.
Actually you writing your story is great and I thank you for that.
Both the Emanuels are Democratic scum; thieves and race baiters and
Your writing is truly a masterclass. Your ability to weave language effortlessly to do your bidding is just so enjoyable to read (even if the topic isn’t, and the reader ends up in tears).
Have you written any books? I would buy all of them, and send copies to everyone.
Your boys won the lottery with you being their mother. Wishing you and your family the best.
Thank you so much. No books. Just this substack and some deleted blogs.
Sending so much love. 💙 I’m feeling alone too, mourning our dead hostages in a community where no one cares. My father cared and raised me to be a Zionist but he’s gone now. I agree with what you said. I’ve fought the insurance companies too and the medical industry for its brutality against people with mental health issues. Yesterday one of my friends expressed her support for killing health care executives. And I can’t talk about where I work but it’s shocking what I see every day. I wish I could bring over some of the Israeli salad I just made and we could hang out. With you all the way from afar.
💖
This may or not help you feel less alone, but for what its worth, I have stopped with the ritual "of course civilian casualties are tragic" and "I hate Bibi too but..." crap. It does exactly no good. They still hate us, so why bother. I find that I feel much better just caring about the Palestinians and their supporters exactly as much as they care about me.
In the meantime, we are not alone. We do have some allies out there, and we all have our communities as well. Shabbat Shalom