Vagina

Yes, mens, this post is for you too

Yes, I am going to go there. I am going to say the actual word…vagina. In fact, apparently, vaginas are all the rage right now. From people telling you how to vote dependent upon whether you have a vagina or not, to people coveting vaginas, to society deciding that there is now this medical procedure where you can have the equivalent of a facelift for your vagina (that just sounds disgusting, but leave it to humans to come up with totally unnecessary, ridiculous, asinine medical procedures in the hopes of not aging. In truth, I really had no idea your vagina sags as you age. Go figure.)

And no, I am not going to be an adult woman who says the word, “vajayjay.” Can’t believe to this day, that Oprah actually used that word. In fact, I remember, when she tried to say the word “vagina,” she blushed. She was embarrassed. One of the most successful self made women on the planet and using the word “vagina” in public made her uncomfortable. (Now I haven’t seen her on TV for about a decade, so things may have changed for her.)

I remember there was also a time, when in Michigan one of the female state legislators used the word “vagina” on the floor of the Michigan legislature, and she was censured for that. (This was in the 21st century) In fact, she had the nerve to use the word “vagina” in a discussion on abortion. Not sure how you can talk about the female reproductive system without using the word “vagina,” but for some male legislators apparently they did their level best to be horrified. I guess no one ever told them where babies come from. Apparently, they still thought that babies appeared by mail-stork.

Initially, I had thought it was a little crass for Janelle Monae to dance in vagina pants back in 2018, but having grown up a bit since then, I can understand the point. Femininity is cool, and so is the vagina.

Now, let’s talk about age and the vagina. (Men you can stay for this especially if you have a female partner). Age is not kind to the vagina. Menopause brings with it all different kinds of challenges. We don’t actually talk about it much. But like the rest of our bodies, the vagina loses elasticity and dexterity. Basically the walls guarding it, become so thin as to make it painful to use.

So of course, the medical world, being the medical world, has come up with some fancy items to help us manage our old age. Lubricants. Sometimes hormones (which I personally do not like, because if the body is getting rid of hormones then nature is telling us not to put them back) are prescribed as well.

In fact, lubricants are such a thing now they are proudly displayed openly in pharmacies. All kinds, all types (different viscosities), and all flavors. (I am not going to discuss why this is, however, I think we are all grown ups and know exactly the implications.)

(By the way, the line to purchase prescriptions at my pharmacy used to wind around past the lubricants, vibrators, and condom aisle. They recently redirected the line after several years to wind around the baby aisle instead. I think someone finally complained. )

So if things are uncomfortable, and quite frankly painful, I suggest you talk to your doctor and have them discuss the ways in which you can help yourself. And yes, you are entitled to a healthy functioning vagina throughout your life. It should provide all sorts of pleasure always, with or without a partner.

In the meantime, one of the things I have noticed in my life is that when medical professionals talk about the sexual dysfunction caused by certain medicines, the thing that pops into everyone’s head is erectile dysfunction. No one actually ever talks about vaginal dysfunctional.

Certain meds do have a terrible effect on the libido. (Antidepressants, blood pressure, chemo) Unfortunately, this affects women as well as men. No libido. Sex just isn’t important anymore, or you can’t really enjoy it the way it is supposed to be enjoyed.

It is important to note that these meds have a way of also damaging your vagina. Sometimes to the point of it being irreversible. While men have found that if they stop taking the meds that cause them sexual side effects, most of the time they will regain at least some function. That does not happen to women. (Of course, they also have that fun little blue pill for men in order to give them a little help over the goal line. There is no such thing for women.)

It is very important, to know what happens to your body (or your partner’s body) as you age. Don’t be afraid to talk about all the side effects and risks of medications, including what could happen to your vagina. (Listen chemo is life saving, so there is no question about that versus a pliable vagina. Well it wouldn’t be for me at least, but it is something you should be aware of. You don’t need any more surprises in life if you need cancer treatment.) Knowing all of the side effects will help you make an informed decision about your own medical care.

It is your right to know these things.

As with every other part of your body, take care of that vagina. Don’t be shy about it either. There is no need to be embarrassed.

Also make sure you go see your OBGYN and get that pelvic exam and pap smear, too. It is important. Even medicare says so, well sorta.