One morning after getting out of bed, I happened to notice a truly angst creating event. My tushie was hitting the back of my legs. Suddenly, I realized, that after having gone through my twenties, and a good portion of my thirties, without really giving my rear any passing notice, attacking that body part now became a much needed aspect of my daily exercise program.
I know that we go through a huge portion of life with an emphasis on our bottoms, in much the same way women go through life with an emphasis on our breasts. We feel defined by 2 of our primary sexual characteristics.
Unfortunately, from the time I was a little girl, I had always thought that my tushie was just too big.
Back in the day, society would show you pictures of glamor models, and movie stars, with no butt at all. Just some tiny little round apples on both the top of the body and the bottom. So I compared myself to a body image I could never realize. It took me well into adulthood to simply realize that the idealized body image of American culture just wasn’t me.
(In case you wonder where the idea for the heart is that we all use to show love? It is the upside down shape of a woman’s tushie. ❤️)
I will tell you honestly, I have what they used to call a baby making behind. Nice strong hips and a firm round bottom. (well it used to be firm and it used to be round). Sadly, then with age, gravity takes hold and decides to play games. Not the hide and seek fun kind of childhood games, but more like the games you begin to play in middle school, and beyond, having to outwit the cliques who delight in making their victims miserable. Mother nature can really be a mean girl.
So when I woke up that fateful morning so many decades ago, and realized that I no longer could take for granted that my rearend would actually continue to fit into my favorite pair of jeans, I had to come up with a plan.
That plan included a myriad of different exercises and diets that would better control how my body would look, feel, and function. Not really a bad segue in life to tell the truth.
But then came the “be careful exercising will increase your body mass articles,” and the “ not how a lady wants to look articles,” because there are always people with too much to say: don’t do step it will increase your butt; don’t work the stairmaster it will make your gluteus maximus stick out; be careful on the cross trainer because it too can increase the density of your behind; use light weights you don’t want to have bigger muscles than your man…so high impact aerobics it became. And for the years I spent hopping around on a gym floor it worked its magic on my caboose.
Eventually though, age also became my enemy, my knees having given out. Not in a torn ACL kind of way, but more in the as you age there really are things your body can no longer do, kind of way. High impact aerobics was out. But, after some experimentation, I happily found other means of working to keep my tuchas in a pair of pants. (Indoor cycling, low impact cardio machines, light weights, and core exercises)
In the meantime, what also happened is that culture sort of changed (a little bit anyway). Suddenly it became ok to have a generous behind. Women could actually celebrate having a woman’s form (well to some extent anyway). Women could recognize that we come in all shapes and sizes and that we can celebrate all body types. Too bad though, the jean manufacturers forgot to adjust their sizing. What is the old adage, whatever your pant size, when buying jeans go 2 sizes up, at least. (There is one jean manufacturer that in fact tells you to size down. I have a pair of those.)
It really is about time that our culture recognized that women are built bottom heavy. We are that way because we are born with the ability to create and nurture life. The fat cells we accumulate during puberty are there for a reason. And yes, whenever you hear how much easier it is for men to lose weight than women, it is the truth, because we have a double layer of fat, to protect that as yet unborn twinkle in the eye baby.
Honestly, I can use any excuse I want when it comes to my tushie appearance. But right now, being post menopausal, I have found that the butt attributes change too along with the rest of the body. Apparently, as we age and lose that estrogen, our lower extremities no longer appear in an hourglass shape. Right now I have a straight line from my waist on down. No more baby making hips.
It could be the type of exercise, it could be the lack of estrogen, it could be the change in my diet… it could be that all 3 have taken my derriere to the next stage of development. (By the way, I still can’t get into that pair of jeans I used to love). I suspect, as with most things as we age, I just have to accept the fact that along with wrinkles, thinning hair, and a tummy pouch, I have to acknowledge that my behind too will continually change as well.
I just wonder at what age the old person flat ass is going to appear. So, if 60 is the new 40, what does that mean for my future tuchas?