So I have found that I mumble…to myself. Apparently, I talk incessantly about issues and topics as I sit, with my feet up, and play a game on my iPhone. Yes, I have become that kind of old lady.
The topic can be anything from politics, which if truth be known, I have always railed about, to what the hell is going on with my neighbor’s lawn. Well actually, I am certain my neighbors are also wondering what is going on with my lawn as well. It’s the neighborly thing to do to worry that others aren’t keeping up their end of the bargain to maintain home values.
Interestingly though, I think I have begun to talk to myself more in the past few years. I find that it’s not always on a topic. In fact, sometimes I find that I verbally talk through the crossword puzzle, or spelling bee…yes I subscribe to the NYT Puzzle page (its for my own mental benefit, a way to stave off dementia), but not the newspaper, even though I did enjoy reading Bret Stephens’ column. (If you want more Bret go to Sapir Journal) Unfortunately, it’s just not worth giving that sham of a newspaper any more money than I have to.
(Ok so now you get politically where I am. But it’s been a long time that what you find in the Grey Lady isn’t all the news that’s fit to print. I don’t think it ever was fit, we can talk about how they hid the antisemitism in Mein Kampf and tried to hide the Holocaust…).
But I also stopped subscribing to The Wall Street Journal and any other legacy media as well. I get my news from the Apple news app, which curates news from every stratem and every genre. By the way, I do find that most articles are more opinion than news. More propaganda than factual. You have to wade through alot of muck and mire to finally glean just a few kernels of truth.
(OK, I admit it, I do subscribe to The Free Press)
The interesting aspect of my life is that I don’t always know that I am talking out loud. However, I do catch myself with more frequency nowadays. But apparently, thinking out loud is something I always did. A friend once remarked that everytime I ended a thought in a discussion I would say out loud “okay, okay.” Done completely absentmindedly. She used to get a kick out of it. She knew that I was about to change the subject of our discussion when she heard my jingle.
I suppose that would not have made me a great debater since my opponent would be forewarned about my upcoming segue.
For now, I have decided to embrace my little idiosyncrasy. Well I guess I always did considering I never really made any attempt to put a stop to it.
The seers say that when you have teenages, that its ok to talk to yourself, since you at least will know someone is listening.
I suppose it’s the same reasoning on why you should get a dog when you have teenagers. That way there will at least someone happy to see you come home.
I think “thinking out loud” is actually a way to parse what is going on in your own head. It is a way to prioritize and organize the thoughts rolling around in all the lobes and ins and out of that magnificent engine called our brain.
It’s also a release. A way to yell at someone whom you have decided needed some commuppence without actually crossing the Rubicon of public inappropriate behavior. In other words, a way to tell some nasty creature off without landing your ass in jail. On the other hand, if it becomes an obsessive moment that you need to relive over and over again, you need to find a way to break the cycle, somehow. Obsessive behavior is not healthy for a variety of reasons.
Meanwhile, I remember reading years ago about a scientific study that proved that those who talk to themselves are not necessarily suffering from a mental health issue, but in fact are geniuses. I am going to go with that instead of the image of the crazy old lady living in her bathrobe yelling at the kids to get off her lawn…
Truth be known, I don’t own a bathrobe, I hang out in pajamas with a hoodie…