Wrinkles… They started back in my 30s. But I paid them no nevermind, meaning I didn’t lose sleep over them. Of course, I used creams, and did the little dance to the antiwrinkle God called retinol for awhile, but you know what, I still have wrinkles.
So, in my 7th decade of life I have decided to embrace the lines on my face, but the ones on my neck aggravate me. As the late great Nora Ephron wrote, “I feel bad about my neck”…
Of course, I still have the under eye cream, the over eye cream, the lip cream, the neck cream, the anti dark circle cream, the crows feet cream, the decolletage cream, the body cream, the eye night cream, the eye face cream, serums, scrubs, and face masks….in truth taking care of your skin is important. It is your largest organ afterall. But sometimes I think we women of a certain age, do go overboard. Yet, I happily embrace this overindulgence. What if one of those creams really works?
I just want to make sure that I am the best that I can be for my age. I think that sounds terrible. “You look good for your age.” I always wondered about that. Are we supposed to turn completely into crones after the age of 50? Are we supposed to leave our houses with warts, no teeth and cackling, looking for children to cook in our gingerbread houses? What does that say actually about the expectations for women? How often do they say to a man, you look good for your age? Noone has ever said that to my husband, but I get that “compliment” all the time.
On the other hand, no botox, facelifts, or any other injectables or knife wielding events for me. If you want these and it makes you feel good, more power to you. People are entitled to feel good about themselves, and if these procedures enhance your power and self perception I say go for it. I just don’t feel like I need it. (Of course, this is not to say that there aren’t medical reasons for plastic surgery and for some that need reconstructive plastic surgery.)
I also think that some of these procedures change how you look. Sometimes it leaves the person unrecognizable. Of course, if that was your goal then be happy. I just don’t think that it is a good thing to destroy who you were. But then again I was never unhappy with the face God gave me.
Now in truth, I did embrace makeup quite happily as a young woman. I think it’s quite funny that when we are youthful and fresh faced, we tend to want to put on makeup to cover that up. Every morning I made sure to not leave the house without a fresh coat of paint. I liked how I looked. It made me feel polished.
Then I had babies and the last thing I wanted was little goopy hands mushing the makeup on my face. So the makeup stopped.
Then I got used to the no makeup look. The cremes, of course, came out every day, but the rosy cheeks were and generally are all natural even to this day.
It’s also not like I don’t have a draw full of makeup at the ready if the need ever arises. I make sure to be prepared for any and all occasions.
Of course, if I ever go to some place where the majority of people are grownups, I put on a little make up. I suppose it is societal convention afterall. It is an attempt to look your best. I do try not to scare others when I leave my house. I am trying to downplay that crone mythology afterall. But makeup is not my thing when I merely have to run to the grocery store and definitely not at the gym.
Just be aware that makeup also changes as you change. What I wore as a young woman is not what I would wear now. Your skin, the organ you took such good care of over the decades, is different no matter what you do and you need different products so you don’t look like a hag. Come on, don’t you think that wrinkly old lady with bright rosy cheeks, and neon blue eye shadow looks ridiculous?
I think that is the hardest part now, finding what works for you. The products that make you look your best without making you look like you are one of the witches from Macbeth.
It is trial and error. But what I have come to embrace is that less is more. No foundation, but either a tinted moisturizer or a face balm, natural eye and cheek shades, along with a light lip color. (But not those plumping lip glosses. Tried those and my lips went numb.)Yes, mascara is still in the picture. While the hair on my head seems to be thinner, my eyelashes are quite abundant.
But in the end it comes down to a simple truth.
You are not 20 any longer. You cannot wear what you wore then, in clothes or makeup without looking silly. Even if the fashion is the heavy eye liner that Lady Gaga wears, don’t do it. Just don’t. She looks stupendous. You will look ridiculous.
They say with age comes wisdom, because of the lessons we have learned over time. This should include how we present ourselves to the world, including what clothes we put on our backs and the makeup we put on our face.
Just don’t forget the creams…all the different types of creams.