I had an adventure in the parking lot of my local Whole Foods over the weekend. I was nearly hit by not 1, but 2, luxury SUVs. Yes, of course it could have been my fault, but as the person walking to my car, I actually don’t think so. Remember people, if you hit a pedestrian it is your fault unless they propel themselves into your car grill at a rate of speed that you simply cannot stop your car. Yes, accidents happen, of course, and that is why there are degrees of malfeasance in law.
Meanwhile, the first car was pulling out of his parking spot without looking, and didn’t bother to check that I was right behind him. Luckily I go to the gym and am a spry senior citizen, so I was able to move very deftly out of the way so as not to get run over. After pulling out, he did notice that I was there and was quite sheepish. I just waved. No fault, no foul. But I hope he will remember to look behind him for the near future. Or at least check his car’s rear camera.
The other one, happened right after that mishap. I was stuck on the other side of the row, opposite my car, and was about to cross the street, when a porsche SUV comes barreling around the corner. No thought to speed or actions. I stopped in my tracks and he waved me through in a rather annoyed kind of way. As if somehow, I was ruining his day because he had to go slower in a supermarket parking lot. By the way, this was not an older gentleman. But a rather rude young (well young to me) miscreant, probably somewhere in his 40s.
The only solace I would have had is that if I had been hit by someone who could afford a luxury vehicle, my compensation would probably have been a little higher than if I had been hit by an old chevy. Of course, Sam Walton, was famous for driving a beat up chevy truck his entire life, so maybe I am being a little too classist at the moment.
This episode, though, did get me thinking about how as I age, how I react to incidents when I drive. Those who know me understand that I try to be a very careful driver. If I can, I take the back roads instead of a highway as well. My mother (z”l) was killed in a car accident about 10 years ago and it has stayed with me that no matter how careful you can be on the road, you are simply not alone. (The police report said she didn’t look properly before she made a right turn on red, and the car that hit her was going over the speed limit. Both drivers were in their late 70s. Since my mother was held at fault, there were no charges brought against the other driver and in fact the auto insurance paid the other driver’s medical bills, which were quite significant.)
When I was taught to drive, they used to tell us to drive defensively. That there are people out there who believe it is their right to barrel through with this several ton iron maiden without any due course to someone else. Be sure to pay attention to everything that is happening around you on the road, was a mantra that was drilled into us.
But, I also understand that no matter how good a driver I happen to be (and yes there was a time that that was debatable- yes I had had so many accidents years ago, that I was put on the high risk insurance list. But I have been taken off that shame roll along time ago.) that time does take its toll. You should slow down in life when driving just as you have to change how you approach every physical thing you do as you age.
Now I can say that my reflexes were just fine the other day in the parking lot in order to avoid becoming a new kind of Whole Foods statistic, but that doesn’t mean, I shouldn’t take my time behind the wheel. Well, in all honesty, drivers should always take their time behind the wheel. But as I age, I find that I need to make sure that I am a little more cautious when driving a car.
If I need to slow down and change up my workouts, then changing your driving habits is something that is definitely needed. So what do I mean? Well in my 30 and 40s, I used to go to high impact aerobics several times a week. You couldn’t get me to do that today. Not only would my knees give out, but I most definitely would pee myself with all that jumping and turning and twisting. (After giving birth, kegel exercises are a must, but even those don’t help with all the realities of age.)
So I have segued to my Peloton and the arc trainer at home. No real jumping. Protecting my joints and my pride. Listen, I do work at the Tabata, HIIT, and interval training rides. Not long ones, maybe 30 minutes at most. I purposefully upped everything during COVID. Strengthening those lungs was paramount in order to stave off dying.
I also follow the low weight upper body program too. Need to make sure to rebuild the muscle tone you lose after 40 (50, 60, 70). A core exercise program is also a must. (All of this helps with that darn osteoarthritis that seems to pop out of nowhere as we age as well.)
The arc trainer though is my heavy cardio. The plus side is that I also get to watch my shows when I work out on this way. Right now it is House of Dragons and any British mystery on Acorn TV or BritBox. So the time goes pretty fast as well.
But back to driving.
If you have to acknowledge that there are simply things you can no longer due because of age, and that you have to rearrange how you function on many levels, then driving needs to be something you take a look at as well. It doesn’t mean you need to give up your keys. (From my cold dead hands, as it were) But it could mean that you need to reevaluate how you drive and the speed at which you drive. It could mean you need to be aware that you must look more than once at the area around you when you are about to pull out of a parking spot, and you should take a beat when you decide to go on a long car ride (take the ride, but be honest with how far you can drive on any given day and make plans accordingly).
Acknowledging that also as you age your cognition in general does decline and so do your reflexes is paramount. Take your time. Go a little slower. Don’t be in such a rush to get where you are going. Leave yourself enough time so that you aren’t late for an appointment without endangering others by your driving.
Driving is a privilege, not a right. And other people’s lives may depend on us doing the right thing as we age.
Now as far as the young man in the Porsche who almost hit me in the Whole Foods parking lot, he apparently needs to simply pay attention to the world around him, and not think everything revolves around him at any given moment. And slow down.
(P.S. I know right now there is a bruhah about age and the Presidency. This is not a political post. So don’t go there in the comments. Thanks.)
Driving is independence. But it’s also dangerous. It’s a very hard topic once aging begins to really incapacitate people.